How do you balance life?
Now, I knew I had been neglecting things while I've been spending so much time with Tanja. My kittens have been tearing up the house because I haven't been spending enough time with them. My yard keeps completely overgrown because I can't keep up with the mowing. And the only time I see my friends is for the few hours that we game each Saturday….

It didn't really hit me until today just how badly I was neglecting my friends though. Somehow, I was letting my mind trick me into thinking that chatting with them online and playing the game with them was enough. But it really just isn't anything remotely like hanging out with them.

So, what brought this on? Well Krissi messaged me to say "my dad got the job here". That is wonderful news, but I knew absolutely nothing about him even applying despite her saying that she's been talking about it for weeks. I just haven't been around at all to hear her talking about it, except at gaming when we are just busy playing the game and not chatting about the interesting things happening in each others lives.

It was actually just like the other day when I messaged her about my father having come through his prostate surgery ok. I had apparently not mentioned it to her at all, although I had been talking about it for a few weeks myself. I had chatted with Jerm about it some which is saying a lot since I typically don't message him because I always feel like he's too busy at work to really chat.

Now, with events from the beginning of this year in mind, I have to say that it is actually a good thing that I no longer only talk with Krissi about the things that have me concerned/worried. That was a mistake on my part that will never happen again. I too easily got confused and fucked things up.

But there is a world of difference between that and failing to mention anything at all about something as big as my father having cancer! That right there is absolutely another mistake I have been making, one of total neglect. And I dearly want to correct that.

I should be able to balance time with Tanja, my kittens, and my friends. Its just that I have never dealt with anything like the relationship I have with Tanja. I couldn't see how bad it had gotten until now. What I'd really like to be able to do things with Tanja and them together. She's a large part of my life now and but my friends also need to be in my life. They have been there for me even when I didn't deserve their help. I'd like to share the enjoyment that is their company with Tanja and vice versa.

I believe I can do that. I just need to actively try and work at it. I'm going to talk to Tanja about it tonight if I get a chance (I'll be gaming with Jerm tonight, so I'm not sure how much I'll actually talk to her). And depending on how that goes, maybe I'll try planning something with my friends this weekend. I know John and Maddie will be out of town visiting with some of his family. But Jerm, Krissi, Jeremy, and Beth may be available to do something.

There is also my friend Amber. I've been talking to her about bringing her husband and kids over to my house some time, but something always comes up. For instance, we had talked months ago about going to see Casablanca showing at the Orpheum tomorrow night. It's a favorite movie of both her and her husband (as well as Tanja and I). So it would have been perfect to go see it with them and I could finally meet her husband. We even talked about going to one of their favorite restaurants in town that I'd never heard of (she's mentioned something about genuine gypsy dancing at this place). But her husband Wayne is out of town for work yet again and not going to get back until tomorrow, which means he'll be too tired; and Tanja has a riding lesson and will probably bee too exhausted from it to do anything. So, there goes that great Idea.

I'll just have to come up with another one though. All of my friends are worth far more effort than I've been giving them lately.

Happy Things:
We're playing tSoY tonight! Woot!

Can you tell I'm excited? I've been really craving this game, but its been weeks since we played that first session, even though we scheduled a game session a couple different times since that first game. Krissi won't be playing any more since she's back in school now, but it sounds like we are going to have a full house as several other people are going to be joining us.

I am definitely happy about that. :)